should i come out of the closet quiz
20 things you should know before you leave and how to do If you have recently discovered your orientation, you may want to leave. If you do, you're probably wondering how — like when to do it, who to say, and what to say, just to name a few. Don't worry, we got you covered! Remember that everyone's journey is different There's no wrong time to go out. Some people go out at a young age, others never do. Some people tell everyone they know, others only share it with a few select ones. There is no right or wrong way to do this, because the way you go out will depend on your own experiences and situation. If you want out, go for it! Most people expect others to be straight unless they say otherwise, so people come out. Exiting can be a liberating and exciting experience. There are many reasons you might want to go out. For example: You don't need a particular reason to go out — if you want to, that's enough reason! If you don't want to or feel like doing it could cause damage, it's 100% good not to do it – it doesn't make you "fake" You never have to "get out of the closet" if you don't want to. Seriously, you don't. Modern discussions about mistrust seem to focus on getting out. A unfortunate side effect is that many of us feel very pressured to leave. Some of us even feel that we are being dishonest because we are pretending to be straight. A unfortunate side effect is that many of us feel very pressured to leave. Some of us even feel that we are being dishonest because we are pretending to be straight. No one should feel compelled to leave before they are ready, or at all. There are many reasons people avoid going out. They might feel that it's dangerous because they don't think they'll be accepted. They might also feel that it is too emotionally stressful, or private. Or they just don't want to go out. No matter what, it's okay not to go out. It doesn't make you a fake or a liar. How do you ultimately depend on who you want to count? Maybe you have an anonymous social media account and you decide to tell your followers. Maybe I'll tell your friends, but not your family. Maybe you tell your brothers, but not your parents. Maybe you tell your family, but not your coworkers. You are well within your rights to ask anyone to tell you to keep you private. If you're still close to some people, tell your loved ones not to discuss it with anyone else. You don't have to tell everyone at once - or even at all When I was a teenager, I thought "going out" would involve a great party of departure where I would meet with everyone I know and tell them that I am. That's not what happened, and fortunately it wasn't, because that would have been quite overwhelming. While you can throw an exit party, or go out on a Facebook post, or call everyone who knows the same day, most people don't actually go out to everyone at the same time. You could choose to start with your friends and then tell your family members, or who you choose. Start by determining which parts of your life you feel safe to leave When it comes to getting out, you might be worried about your safety. Unfortunately, people are still discriminated against because of their orientation. If you feel like you'll be safe and accepted to go out to everyone, that's amazing! If you're not, you might want to start getting out where it's safer: either among your family, friends, religious community, school community or colleagues. Be sure to consider the overall level of tolerance of your individual communities To determine how safe it is to go out in a given area of your life, you should consider how tolerant your communities are. You may find it helpful to ask the following questions: Get an idea of how responsive the audience will be before telling them You can never tell if someone will accept your guidance. You could make an educated conjecture based on how they react to other people. This may include people you know personally, celebrities or even fictional characters. A common strategy is to raise mistrust or sexual orientation by passing. You could say something like, "I hear Drew Barrymore is bisexual," or "Did you hear about the new anti-discrimination law?" or "Ellen and Portia are so cute!" (Yeah, I used all those.) You could use his reaction to measure if they'll accept you. Of course, this is not an infallible method—some people may be tolerant towards some people who want but not to others. You can find useful to start with a trusted person This can be a loved one who is compassionate and open-minded. It could also be someone who is already openly disconcerting and has gone through the process of getting out. You might also ask them to help you tell others and provide support during the departure process. Sometimes it is simply useful to have a friendly face present when you tell others. Consider what method you are more comfortable withComing out does not need to be a formal conversation unless that is what you prefer to do. You might come out to casually mention your partner, or go to a LGBTQIA+ event, or something similar. It doesn't need to be a face-to-face conversation unless you want it to be. It doesn't need to be a face-to-face conversation unless you want it to be. Video or voice calls can be useful because you can always hang the phone if the conversation is calm. Physical distance can also give you the space to process the conversation only after. Many people prefer texts and emails because they do not require an immediate response. Often, people don't know what to say—although they're in your favor—so it could help them give them some time to respond. Social media posts can be less inciting to anxiety. Since a general state that leaves is not targeted at anyone specific, there is no obligation for a particular person to respond. It may also be useful to have people who have already told you to leave support comments, as this shows other people how to respond adequately. The disadvantage of social networks is that it is very public. You can't always say if someone saw your position or how your position is shared. The disadvantage of social networks is that it is very public. You can't always say if someone saw your position or how your position is shared. Ultimately, it is better to choose any method you are most comfortable with. Regardless of the method, consider time and location There is no perfect time or place to go out, but it is important to consider what time and place will be comfortable and convenient for you. For example: Ultimately, it is a good idea to choose a place and a time that feels comfortable and safe. Prepare for questions and possible disbelief People might have many questions when you go out with them. Some common questions are: You don't have to answer these questions — even the well-intentioned — unless you want. You don't have to answer these questions—even the well-intentioned ones—unless you want. Unfortunately, some people may not believe you. Some people think that being gay is a choice, and some people believe that bisexuality, pansexuality and asexuality do not exist. Some people might say that you can't be a faggot because you've dated people from the genus "oppos." They could try to convince you that you're not a faggot. Remember that your identity is valid, no matter what others say. No one knows your identity better than you know yourself, not even your parents or partners, and no one else defines it. No one knows your identity better than you know yourself, not even your parents or partners, and no one else defines it. You can set a firm limit and say that you are sure of your guidance and want support, without a doubt. What to say If you are not sure exactly what to say or how to say, here are some examples: Allowing the other space and time to process the informationEven well-intentioned and open-minded people might need time to process the information. Often, people want to say some support but they don't know how to respond. A non-response is not necessarily a bad answer. Although uncomfortable silence can be unpleasant. After a few days, it might be a good idea to send them a text in the lines of: "Hello, have you thought of what I told you the other day? If you're not sure what to say, tell him. Say something like, "I would really appreciate it if you could tell me you still love me, support me or accept me" or "If you're not sure what to say, it's okay – but I'd like you to tell me you understand me and accept me. "Make sure you know if you can share this information If you're going to go out to people gradually instead of telling everyone at once, it's important that people you know. You could say something like: You can suggest resources to learn more about how to support you. It might be a good idea to send them a link to an article about supporting LGBTQIA+ people. Try not to take any negative reaction personally It is difficult not to take negative reactions personally, but remember that your answer is a reflection of them, not of you. As the saying goes, "Your value does not diminish based on someone's inability to see your value. " If you feel that your security is in question, you have options If you were evicted from your home or if the people you live with threatens you, try to find a LGBTQIA+ shelter in your area, or arrange to have a supportive friend for a while. If you are a young person who needs help, contact 866-488-7386. They provide help and support to people who are in crisis or feel suicidal, or to people who simply need someone to talk and ventilate. If you are being discriminated against at work, talk to your Human Resources department. If your employer discriminates against you, and you are based in the United States, you can file a charge with the . Please join your chosen community and engage with a support system It's a good idea to surround you with supportive friends around this time, especially if you feel like you're in danger. Try to find out if your LGBTQIA+ local group offers support or advisory groups. It's ultimately in its terms, Salir is about you and your identity. It should be done in your terms. You can decide if you want to tell people, when or who tells you, what tag you choose (or not choose), and how you come out. Ultimately, you can choose what makes you happy and comfortable. It's a continuous, endless process Unfortunately, we live in a world where you're supposed to be right unless otherwise stated, so you might have to correct people over and over. Getting out is never a farewell thing, even if you literally tell everyone you know at the same time. You'll probably have to go out again and again to new people you know, like new neighbors, coworkers and friends, that is, if you want. Sian Ferguson is an independent writer and editor based in Cape Town, South Africa. Its writing covers issues related to social justice, cannabis and health. You can contact her. Last medical review on 25 November 2019Read this following
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